6 Awesome Steps to IMPROVE YOUR PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL HEALTH WITH cbt

Keep what’s helpful and leave what’s not. That’s always my motto. What works for us all will be different and we all need different things in different moments.

The autumn equinox has arrived. It’s the perfect time to get our internal and external house in order so we can make the most out of the darker months ahead. Persistent stress, depression, anxiety and overwhelm is at an all time high so we all need a robust skills set of tools to come back to regularly to keep us well and on track with living the life important to us. Personal development is life long and so we all need to commit to it daily with an open and flexible heart, whatever the weather. If we don’t invest in ourselves then who will? It’s daily practice and I promise you won’t regret it. It’s not a quick fix. Some patterns take more time and effort to update so be gentle with yourself. If you need help, make sure to speak to a friend, talk to your GP or another health professional. You got this!

Here's 6 of my favourite CBT tools (think a beautiful blend of cognitive, emotional and behavioural) for you to try out for yourself.

1) Build your awareness of when and how you are getting stuck in your old familiar patterns - think cognitive, emotional, sensations and behaviours. Note them down.

2) Notice how you react during these moments and what the triggers are.

3) Appreciate how all your life experiences to date will be influencing how you are reacting and know that your brain is so malleable and you can learn new ways of coping and responding to update the brain and body in tandem.

4) Generate one new balanced and healthy way of how you would prefer to interpret the situation, whatever it is, and allow yourself to know what that looks like in reality, to help know you are following it through in practice.

5) Emotions take their own time to process in the background while you choose healthier ways or responding so be compassionate to holding any discomfort and remind yourself that all your feelings are welcome and they can pass in the background in their own time. Label and honour them but remember they are not always the best guide and let them pass. Try not to fear them utilise your self-care grounding activities as often as you need them.

6) Personal development is life long for us all. Work with where you are at not were you want to be. Accepting and working from the present time is where you can take control, honour it fully, update the past and create your future.

If you would like to share feedback on your experience I’d love to hear from you. You can write to me at info@moore-living.com

Be well

Catherine

xx

wHAT i am LEARNing during my year off social media

Our devices are not the enemy. It’s all about balance. For me, this is an experiment for 1 year or longer to see what it is like to be away from socials and to gift myself that space. I’m almost four months in and this is what I have learned so far.

• I feel calmer having more control over what I am absorbing. Algorithms be gone!

• I’m way more productive. It feels great to finally prioritise some important things that have been on my values list for ages.

• I LOVE people and solitude in equal measure. Protecting my energy matters.

• I have a new found appreciation for a good website.

• It’s liberating not having my phone with me all the time.

• I can actively do my bit to alleviate suffering in the world without being bombarded with news headlines.

• I feel more deeply connected to day to day life. Reducing that one layer of extra stimulation has cleared notable space to enjoy being a more present parent, wife, daughter, sister, friend, therapist and colleague.

With love and gratitude

Catherine

xx

AUTUMN/WINTER 2020 Toolkit

6 Tools to Navigate Your Way With Greater Calm and Resilience

Knowing how to steady yourself and be the person you want to be right now has never been so challenging or hard. There is a catalogue of stuff going on right now that would keep you going with a lifetime of potential stress and worry. Don’t worry if the moments of feeling overwhelmed have been a more frequent experience of late. It’s completely understandable, given the current climate. The good news is that I’ve got your back and promise these 6 tools will help you.

1 Keep perspective

Difficult times can and will pass. I promise. Practice an open mind and climb right back out of the ‘what ifs…’ rabbit hole when you find yourself falling in or, even, digging away in there. Kindly bring your attention back to where you want it to be in that moment with a gentle inner tone.

2 Emotional care

- The really big challenge is not reacting to the emotion in a way that takes you away from being who you want to be in the moment (it’s easy to be snappy Sally!). Your emotions are dynamic and beautiful. They will fluctuate more frequently atm, as you encounter increased moments of anxiety, irritability, restlessness and overwhelm. Label it, don’t judge it, give it permission to be there and let it go all in it’s own time. Then refocus your attention back to what’s more important in that moment, like in step one. By acknowledging your experience, you are honouring it in a way that facilitates a crucial space for it to clear space for new experiences without avoidance or distraction.

3 Pace yourself

Are your basic nutrition, sleep, rest and exercise needs being met right now? Take control back of your schedule by accepting it’s current limitations and work with what you have got. Make sure to have a basic fundamental routine to ensure you are getting the above needs met. Creating a visual weekly overview will empower you with a greater sense of clarity. Get those you live with involved and don’t be afraid to delegate tasks or ask for help. You can then add in other areas, like hobbies, interests or other things, that you want to look forward to in the week. When feeling overwhelmed just keep it simple.

4 Stay connected

Nothing is as powerful as in person contact. Maximise on the potential for safe physical contact with those around you - especially hugs. If you are not in close contact with anyone then close your eyes and remember a time when you last had a good hug (notice how it felt, how the person smelled, texture of their clothes, and how you felt as you were in each other’s arms). Draw on your courage to reach out virtually or, better yet, chat to family/friends via video cam or the telephone. Try to really hear other’s voices and be as honest as you can. Don’t underestimate the goodness in authentic conversation. Keep an overview of your connection time across the week. A balance of time with others and time alone is something to hold in mind but not beat yourself up about.

5 Steady yourself often

Get to know yourself. Try new things and go back to the things that work for you regularly (these are often the things that we look forward to). We are all different, so free yourself from the need to compare here.

6 Be flexible

Allow balls to drop (if they need to), let unnecessary stressors go, pause more, breathe with intention more and, when you stop enjoying things, check in with yourself and let go of what it is that is demanding otherwise. During challenging periods, it’s totally OK to also have moments of laughter and joy.

I’d love to hear how you get on and you can email me at info@moore-living.com or DM me via @mooreandmooreliving on the gram.

Love and hugs

Catherine

xxxxx

VIDEO | Mental Health Awareness Week - Moore & Moore Living TALKS MENTAL WELLBEING DURING LOCKDOWN WITH Prof. Louise Mc Hugh

Well this is a real treat and loaded with gems on looking after yourself during the pandemic. Video below.

Catherine Moore - Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist, Co-founder Moore & Moore Living speaks with contextual behavioural science researcher Louise Mc Hugh - Professor, School of Psychology University College Dublin.

Discover cutting edge behavioural psychology insights and top tips on how to practically and emotionally navigate the uncertain times we all face in the current corona virus pandemic. Catherine and Louise explore ways to manage uncertainty, maintain healthy relationships and ways to reduce extra stressors as life evolves.

Key Areas include: staying present, reducing additional stress, connecting to your purpose, managing uncertainty and maintaining healthy relationships.

1 Year After Therapy | I just wanted to message and let you know how much you changed my life | Real Life Story | Moore & Moore Living

“Your expert advice was one of the biggest turning points in my life.”

This emotional gem recently landed in my instagram inbox. It burst my heart right open and I cried. It reminded me of how much my gifts continue to help people way beyond therapy sessions have finished. I sometimes take it for granted and forget to appreciate the impact I have on other people’s lives.

During Jan, my laptop suddenly died, my office clock died and my watch battery stopped so perhaps the universe is telling me something! SLOW DOWN ;) Anyway, I love that previous clients love to take a moment and drop me a line to update me on some of their life highlights. Life is not a linear process and neither is therapy. Therefore, Moore & Moore clients know that they can come back for booster sessions or for future episodes of treatment, if they ever need it, without judgement.

For anyone that is skeptical about therapy gains being maintained after therapy - or if the financial investment itself is worth it - this one is for you!

(Some text has been removed for confidentiality reasons and the writer has given permission for this to be shared)

Hi Catherine, Jamie here, who used to do CBT sessions with you just over a year ago. I just wanted to message to let you know how much you have changed my life. Your expert advice to get away from […] and go back to […] was quite possibility one of the biggest turning points in my life.

YOU HELPED SO MUCH, NOT JUST WITH MY DRIVING ANXIETY BUT WITH LIFE IN GENERAL. Shortly after our last session, we rescued an elderly cat, our queen Coco. And, last October, we bought a house. I’m still at [..,] teaching […] and being kind to myself. I just wanted to say thank you so much for helping to change my life for the better.

I now talk about mental health with my students and share with them what it’s like to live with anxiety and OCD. I also have students come and see me when they need to quiet their minds and we openly talk about our mental health. Finally, because you made such a huge impact on my life, I am looking into training to be a COUNSElLOR and use the qualification here at […], So thank you.

Ps. Congratulations, I know you are going TO BE AN AMAZING MUMMY AND WHAT A SUPER STRONG FIERCE LADY SHE IS GOING TO BE.

I will forever be in your debt FOR HOW YOU CHANGED MY LIFE.

xx

It was so beautiful to hear how our work together had changed her life and the lives she touches. With the combination of my pregnancy hormones, heart felt happiness for my client and being so touched by the consideration of the person to send the message, the tears where in full flow. And it felt great!

Catherine

Q&A With THE SEX CLINIC’s Sarah MULINDWA | ON what you think you become and merging a weird and wonderful career path in TV, Fashion & health | Moore & Moore Living Journal

Sarah Mulindwa

LADIES! This is a serious girl crush alert. If you don’t follow Sarah on socials already (insta @Sarah.mulindwa) then we highly recommend it. She’s pictured here Paul Costelloe at LFW.

Rather than comparing yourself to your female counterparts, this is your invitation to be inspired and take action in your own life. We are bringing you a chance to get to know the person behind the impressive roles as a TV presenter at Channel 4, sexual health nurse, former fashion editor at 1883 Magazine, influencer and stylist.

Sarah does what many women aspire to do. She’s carved a rich and meaningful career path and remains a grounded and kind human being. After all, everything is about being human (especially with the trials and tribulations we face in modern days) and the important bit is being kind, right?

Sarah talks to us about influencer honesty, gratitude, the power of thought, sustainable fashion favourites, music, self-care in the current political madness and her a/w must haves. So let’s jump in!

Images by Sarah Mulindwa & Getty Images.

MML: What's the craic and what are you grateful for today?

SM: Today I’m grateful that I woke up and that the people I love are safe and happy! :)

MML: We love, love, love how you have a unique and rich variety of roles in your career. Is this something you have intentionally curated for yourself and, if so, why?

SM: Ahh that’s very kind !! (Invisibly blushes). I honestly didn’t plan any of this, to be honest. I chose two career paths, the first was nursing and the second was being a stylist. Everything else just kind of happened organically! Radio was a twist of fate that lead into a four year career, which then opened the doors into the entertainment industry, and so I was already kind of on the scene before. And then, through an industry contact (who happened to know I was a qualified nurse), I was then cast for The Sex Clinic. I never thought in a million years I’d be able to merge all my weird and wonderful career paths but it’s working well, so far, so I’m very grateful.

MML: What's one of the best pieces of advice you have been given? 

SM: One of the best pieces of advice I’ve ever been given is “what you think, you become” and I live by that, I honestly think our thoughts are a powerful energy.

MML: List three qualities you want to be known for as an influencer?

SM: As an influencer, the three things I would like to be known for are kindness, honesty (I never recommend things unless it’s genuine) and [being] approachable.

MML: Tell us your top 5 self-care survival tips for the current political climate?

SM: My self-care survival tips for this political climate would be: 

• Reduce your use of your phone. I know it’s easier said than done but it’s so easy to be lead from one thing to the other online and, before you know it, it’s information overload. There’s no end point to the internet, there’s always an app to check on so, maybe, only check at set times and have limitations. 

• Talk to your friends on the phone as opposed to just Whatsapping. Simply discussing your day and vocalising emotions, however insignificant [they seem], is healthy and you cleanse your brain for the day! Sometimes, just having a good old rant with your friend at the end of the day can get rid of stress, and it’s always good to get advice! Sometimes, the smallest things can seem gigantic, until somebody comes along and puts things into perspective. We all need that sometimes. 

• Get into the habit of exercise! No, you don’t have to lift weights for hours at the gym, even just a walk in the morning on your way to work, maybe, skip a couple of stations and walk that distance beforehand and THEN jump on the bus/tube, you’re gonna need the mental strength just to deal with public transport every morning. 

• Eat a balanced diet! Avoid unnecessary sugars [which] already occur naturally in complex carbohydrates and a lot of foods, so try to cut it out in teas and coffee/cereal etc. Eating too much sugar may increase your risk of depression, mood disorder and several chronic health issues! So eat lots of fresh fruit and veg and drink plenty of water! You will be surprised at how food can affect mood! 

• Get enough sleep but, also, don’t over sleep! Too much or too little sleep can have similar results in how you feel. 

MML: What's your current fav album and why?

SM: It’s funny you should ask because I’m actually quite bad at giving new music a go. However, recently, I discovered a singer called Summer Walker. I kept hearing the name and seeing her on Twitter so, literally last week, I started listening to her album Over It, so I’m starting to rediscover new artists! So far so good!

MML: Who's your current fav sustainable fashion designer and why?

SM: I just love Vivienne Westwood! “Buy less, choose well and make it last”. That’s a motto I try to live by, as I get older I’m getting so much better! I think, when big brands, such as Westwood or McCartney, lead in sustainable fashion, they set the precedence for sustainable fashion for generations to come!

MML: Give us your A/W essential accessories item?

SM: My A/W accessory must haves are: 

• A solid water proof gilet  because they keep you SO warm and they’re mostly water proof. It’s guaranteed to rain most days of the week lately, so I picked up a new one the other day. 

• A versatile black winter coat than can go over any look, whether you’re dressing up or dressing down! 

• I never leave the house without a flask! I recently discovered coffee was making me way too shaky, so I’ve replaced it with either tea or water with lemon! Anything hot really, to keep you warm while you’re out and about! 

• A huge oversize scarf that resembles a carpet (thing Lenny kravits). 

• Lip balm!! It’s a God send for me in the winter! 

If you enjoyed reading this interview with Sarah then drop us an emoji/comment below and check out other inspiring interviews in our journal section with the likes of Ella Mills, Denai Moore and more. If you’re feeling really brave then join our community newsletter for quality irregular Moore & Moore Living goodness straight to your inbox. Catherine & Jonathan xx

In the cherry blossom’s shade

there’s no such thing

as a stranger.

- ISSA

Top 6 Expert CBT Tips On How To Embrace Good Enough v's Perfection This Holiday Season

With Catherine Moore, Co-founder of Moore & Moore Living and Expert Cognitive Behavioural Psychotherapist (CBT)

Nigel Slater gravy recipe battles in the kitchen, the return of old family dynamics, the comparison of your own back door with everyone else’s front of house, the who sits where stress, the last minute secret Santa dash and the gradual internal isolation. These are all common experiences the festive holidays can bring to challenge your ability for sustained perspective, calm, open hearted connection and spontaneity. The expectations from self/others can often get in the way of you being present and making the most of it, whatever the circumstances, with gratitude. I suggest making commitment to the people and experiences that are important to you throughout the year and not just at Christmas (that’s assuming you want to and it’s good for you). It offers flexibility and the opportunity to increase your confidence with practice. Here’s a tried and tested festive toolkit to help you navigate your way through the festivities with meaningful purpose and freedom of mind and heart.

1) ACCEPTANCE - It may or may not be how you had hoped but it's here. Now that it is, the first step is to acknowledge it just as it is. This is a serious advantage point as there is huge potential to enrich it with wise tweeks. Hold in mind that it will pass, like everything else. We are all imperfect humans.

2) CHECK-IN - Take a moment to notice how your are interpretating it. It could be your head is in panic planning mode or cannot be bothered. Can you label your emotions about the experience and other sensations in the body? Knowing what is showing up for you in the present will help you prioritise more accurately and know your self-care limitation thresholds.

3) WHAT DOES GOOD ENOUGH LOOK LIKE? It may be just getting through it or the wish for everyone to be together . Get to the heart of what really matters here. Opt for ways to increase your chances of kindness, authenticity and presence with yourself and others.  

4) BOUNDARY SETTING - Now that you have identified what the non negotiables and flexibles are, it's time to commit by action planning. Don't let others’ or your own expectations get in the way of a meaningful and enjoyable time. Practice taking time to appreciate the awkward small talk interactions with as much heart and honesty as you would do other deeper conversations.

5) SELF-COMPASSION - Approach everything with an attitude of care towards yourself and your limitations. Stay in the present moment and remember your breath is your superpower. Talk to yourself with love and care so that you stay on track with looking after your immediate needs, especially self-care (sleep, rest, exercise, nutrition). There is no need to be a martyr.

6) TIME OUT - Give yourself permission to take time for yourself, even if it's only 5mins in the loo. You can suggest a walk outdoors where you can mindfully restore and connect to nature as you walk. Go to bed early, delegate/decline tasks with respect and, above all, remember it's OK to rest. If you're isolated make sure to get out for a walk and/or be around others socially, even on the periphery.

The end of year also brings the need for rest, restoration and winter hibernation. Seize the opportunity for seasonal reflection on what you are grateful for and what areas you want to commit valued energies to going forward with deeper clarity and intention.

How to Recognise Excessive Stress and What you can do about it

We can all relate to those periods of stress in our lives, whether it is a change of job, health issues, relocation, relationship break-up, financial problems, or loss. Stress is the body’s response to pressure from a situation or life event. The activation of our bodily fight or flight response is an evolutionary response to help keep us safe from danger and it can be useful when we need to push through a stressful situation. However, if the pressure persists, the cortisol stress hormone can take it’s toll on the body and often leads to a sense of not being able to cope and feeling overwhelmed. Stress is something we cannot escape from but there are key things to consider when knowing how to have a positive and healthy relationship with it, as it comes and goes in your life, without it leading to you developing an anxiety related issue. So let’s jump in!

• Stress triggers - Take a moment to reflect on what your stress triggers have been in life thus far.

• Self-awareness - Take a moment to note how you personally respond to stress. Identify the things you do to cope, to make it better and to get through it. Don’t judge how you cope - the key here is just to identify how you do. You may notice avoidance based ways of coping that help in the short term but can often lead to more stress in the long term.

• Develop positive coping habits - It’s all about sustainable balance here (not perfection). There is nothing wrong with taking a mental health day off work or going for a glass of wine to unwind with a friend over dinner. However, if you’re doing this on a frequent basis, it can become problematic.

• Take personal responsibility - During stressful times, swap the focus of attention from the things that are out of your control to the things you can do, things that are within your control. Be assertive and have the necessary meetings, contacts and ask for the help that will support you to get through the stressful period. (Top tip - targeting procrastination wisely helps to prevent excessive worry).

• Acceptance - Once you have done all of the above, rest in the reality that it can often take a little bit of time for the adjustment process to happen. Knowing you are taking action in the areas related, with your best interest at heart, is the nugget here. Use your toolkit of positive self-care and wellbeing habits to support you through.

• Future planning - Develop a template of your stress threshold and where your healthy limit is. This is different for all of us. Avoid multiple stressors or making significant life changes all at the same time (where possible). Avoid persistent stress, as this is the point where stress can develop into anxiety related disorders or emotional issues requiring professional help.

• Maintain wellbeing essentials - Don’t under estimate the value and importance of a good night’s sleep (our natural medicine), nutrition, exercise, social contact time (not just online), 10-15mins minimum per day connecting to nature, remembering how resilient you are, and protecting personal time for creative play (stressful events can make life seem very serious). Also remember, loads of self-compassion! A useful technique for applying self-compassion is to talk to yourself like you would do a loved one going through your circumstances, using a kind and loving internal tone with yourself.

Life is stressful and, quite often, can lead to a sense of being overwhelmed or that you cannot cope. In such times, it can be really useful to seek professional help to support you to get through and get back on track. It is so important to help prevent longer term problems and CBT works a dream. At Moore & Moore Living, our priority is to make sure you get the help you need and we are always happy to discuss if an alternative provider, such as the NHS, or different type of therapy or registered therapist, is right for you. CBT sessions help you to get the cognitive, emotional and behavioural clarity and direction which help you get global control back. If you would like help with any of the above, then just complete our booking form for a free consultation with Catherine who will help you take the next step. Click here to book.

USEFUL LINKS:

https://www.anxietyuk.org.uk/get-help/anxiety-information/

https://www.nhs.uk/conditions/stress-anxiety-depression/understanding-stress/

http://www.cbtregisteruk.com/Default.aspx

I'm a therapist and a human being. I wish I was told this about grief.

Here’s an article a recently wrote for Elephant Journal on grief. I hope you like it.

Catherine Moore

Jess Macdonald | Norwich Sustainability & Zero Waste Writer on Moore & Moore NY Retreat Day 2019

Read all about it here… Just follow the link!

https://www.talking-rubbish.com/blog/moore-moore-retreat-day-2019

Carol Lake Interview | Artist & Designer on Creativity, Nature & Inspiration | Moore & Moore Living

Interview and writing: Jonathan Moore and Catherine Moore

Images: marklordphotography.co.uk and Carol Lake

Let’s face it, life can be hard! At Moore and Moore Living, Catherine and I are always looking for a greater understanding of how people are creatively building and sustaining a connected life with the things that matter most to them. When we met Carol, we were struck by her intimate relationship with nature that has evolved with her creativity on a beautiful and spiritual journey. We love to think that her gentle humility and openness has been a nurturing vehicle for her incredible creative talents to unfold and evolve with such integrity and love over the years. Carol gave us plenty of food for thought and we hope you will get as much from the following interview and Carol’s work as we have!

Seasons and the botanical inspire the beautiful paintings of Artist & Designer Carol Lake. Carol’s work has been used on textile products internationally for brands including Ted Baker, Nina Campbell, Debenhams, Designers Guild, Next, Sanderson, Laura Ashley, and Lulu Guinness (the list goes on). You may have even seen her interior design of Norwich’s Haggle Restaurant or spotted her textiles in the series Friends and Sex and the City!  

Carol now lives in North Norfolk and sells her work from her inspiring shop space Studio at 91, which is located on Upper St Giles Street in Norwich. As you enter the shop, you are struck by smell of Cire Trudon candles and the sight of wood and mirrored walls, which have been inherited from the premises’ former life as a chocolate shop and are now filled with botanical luxuries. Moving through into the back of the shop, you pass beautiful and tactile textile products. You then enter what is, personally, my favorite part, which you might never know was there from outside, a light filled artists studio/kitchen/shop which looks out on a courtyard - which I can only really describe as splendid! Throughout this space, you get a sense that every element has been curated with love to make a sacred little ecosystem which nourishes and inspires.

MML: What’s the craic and what are you grateful for today?

Carol Lake: I am blessed and all my dreams have come true. 

MML: The botanical and the qualities of paint seem to be recurring sources of inspiration and conversation in your work and life, and for many people before you. What is it that has kept this fascination alive for you?

CL: I was born loving nature and can’t imagine there being any other way of being. 

MML: What is it that you hope your work brings to the world?

CL: To help others feel special. 

MML: How would you describe yourself in three words? 

C: Perfectionist; passionate; serene.

MML: What is one of the best pieces of advice you have been given?

C: Whatever you want for yourself, you should want for other people; there’s enough to go round. 

MML: Loving oneself is a ongoing process as we journey though life. What has helped you deal with your internal critic when approaching a new creative project?

C: Having a shop has given me great confidence and allows me to hear people loving my work. My internal critic often raises its head though but, maybe, with age and experience, it has mellowed ..( hence the perfectionism ).. I used to think everyone else could visualise what I could visualise.. but it slowly dawned on me that maybe they couldn’t and I had a particular talent for colour, light and space .

MML: What do nature and the seasons mean to you?

CL: Everything ...just everything. 


MML: Has the transition from London to Norfolk life influenced the creative direction of your work and business?

CL: Yes ..affordability ...then visibility. Better to be a bigger fish in a smaller pond. I wouldn’t have got to design the Turkish restaurant “Haggle”, if in London. 

MML: What sources of inspiration do you return to regularly?

CL: Flowers ...flowers ..and flowers .

MML: What internal or external elements do you see as particularly important for creating and enjoying your personal and professional life? 

CL: Quiet ..peace ..and physical environment. I have to create beauty all around me (hence serene).

Dr. Dennis Tirch Interview | Leading Compassion Expert on How Training the Mind in Mindful Compassion Can Help Us to Wake Up to Who We Are | Moore & Moore Living

Winter interview feature

Images @dennistirch and Timothy Gordon

Dr. Dennis Tirch is a leading New York based compassion psychologist, wonderful author and President Elect of the ACBS. And, if that wasn’t enough, he’s also a great guitar player! So yes, he is a pretty cool and accomplished guy but it goes much deeper than that. We love the refreshing way he ‘says it how it is’ and asks really important questions of all of us. Even if you don’t have the answer to his questions, it doesn’t really matter because they can help you to start communicating with different inner qualities within yourself that you didn’t even know existed and guide you as you cultivate them. Amazing right?

As part of my clinical practice, I have been blessed to have attended training over the years with Dennis and his lovely wife Laura and surrounded by a wonderfully inspiring and nurturing clinical community called the Association of Behavioural and Contextual Sciences (ACBS). Dennis brings to the table of life a fierce compassion of authenticity and love and dedicates his career to sharing his gifts with the world. We are so thankful for such kind of leaders in our lives. So let’s jump in!

What's the craic and what are you grateful for today?

It’s great to connect with you, and I so appreciate the opportunity to think about these really important concepts together.

Today, I’m grateful for the rare opportunity to practice and study how to awaken our mind, and how to work with suffering from a place of loving awareness. It’s hard to imagine how rare it is to be born under the conditions that allow us to study and practice mindfulness, compassion and wisdom disciplines. It’s a gift.

For those who don't know you, can you give me a bit of background of the key professional moments that have shaped where you are at today?

Working with Bob Leahy at the wonderful American Institute for Cognitive Therapy was a huge gift. The name of the place might sound like an orthodox Cognitive Therapy situation, but it really was like a think tank, where brilliant therapists and researchers all played with new and emerging technologies together. In particular, this gave me a context to apply the dharma to psychotherapy in new ways, and to build on what I had learned. From there, working with Kelly Wilson, Steve Hayes, Paul Gilbert, and Roshi Paul Genki Kahn have all shaped my ways of working in the last years, integrating years of study and practice of Zen, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy and Compassion Focused Therapy. Beyond these, working with the English Guitarist,  Robert Fripp, applying the teachings of John Bennett and George Gurdjieff have radically altered my approach to the mind and to life.

Loving one's self is a ongoing process as we journey though life. What has helped you deal with your own internal critic and to learn how to bring a loving, compassionate approach to your individual quirks and differences?

My own shaming and blaming inner voice has been very strong throughout my life. Living with PTSD and ADHD set me up for a lot of shame, just as so many of us experience. I have found that creating the conditions in my life that allow for mindful compassion practice to become a habit, to become absolutely central in my life, has been key. I’ve had to move from a life that was focused on everyday success/failure and challenges, and re-focus on a life that is organized around the awakening of all beings. This means that my practice of compassion needs to be front and center, and a part of the conscious aim of my every day. That allows me to practice deeply, and to relate to everyone I meet with as much of an open, loving heart as I can have in that moment, which is every moment.

Tell us a bit about the role of meditation in your life?

Meditation, as a practice of coming into the reality of being and training the mind in mindfulness, concentration, and compassion, is the central act in my daily life.

I see mediation as an act of love, re-dedicating ourselves to awakening, and to living from love, service and devotion. In time, the meditation cushion is more than a physical space, and is really an approach to every moment, so that our meditation extends into everything we do, especially the way that we relate to one another.

What drives you to be the best version of yourself? 

When I pause and reflect that my life is no more valuable and no less valuable than any human life, I am immediately inspired again to work for the alleviation and prevention of human suffering in all ways that I can. When I recognize how interconnected all life is, and that compassion is a natural, arising motivation that follows from remembering our nature as one wave in a vast ocean of inter-being, it is a lot easier to hold my own stuff lightly, and be less hooked by my suffering, fear or anger.

We believe in the value of living a connected and balanced lifestyle and think it is really important, rather than getting caught up in the 'hamster wheel' of society's values to do more and be more. What's your thoughts on that?

I admire and support your vision and values. In order to help ourselves stay off the treadmill of cyclic suffering that you describe, we need to wake up. In order to wake up, we need to be able to move beyond our habitual, fear based and craving based patterns. Training the mind in mindful compassion can help us wake up to who we are. 

My husband, Jonathan, would like to know, do you think compassion has a part to play in turning around the current politics of fear?  

Compassion, and the empowerment of our moral courage, has everything to do with overturning the domination of fear, in our politics and in ourselves.

Congratulations on the appointment of President-Elect, Association for Contextual Behavioural Sciences. How would you like to be remembered for your time in this role?

I would like to observe two principles. First, leave the place better than you found it. That means that my time in leadership should involve maintaining and cultivating the basic practices and values of our community in responsible ways. Second, I wish to advocate for an “outward facing” ACBS, that builds relationships with other organizations and communities, to bring our concepts and technologies out into the world with more confidence and energy.

We are big fans of your compassion focused quotes. Would you ever consider having a podcast?  

I would love to have a podcast, and we are taking steps with some partners to make that happen.

In the mean time, I would love to share a one episode podcast with you that features a very intimate and meaningful discussion that I had with ACT co-founder Steve Hayes some time ago. It is a little long, with a lot of real connection, and I hope that you enjoy it.

Here is the link:

https://soundcloud.com/dennis-tirch-phd/fierce-compassion-episode-1


What was the last record you listened to? 

Deja Vu, by Crobsy, Stills, Nash and Young - last night.

Cheers for reading and if you would like to share your experience with us then we would love to hear your feedback via the comments below. To read more on Dennis and access his wonderful resource list from his website here http://www.mindfulcompassion.com/

Self-compassion guide for the festive season | Zoe Slade

Things tend to get a bit hectic around this time of year with lots of parties and seasonal cheer. It can be especially tricky if, for whatever reason, you’re not a fan of the festive season. Here’s how I’ll be using self-compassion to get through the next few weeks, I hope they might help you too. 

Acceptance: 

·         Be honest with yourself that you’re not a fan. Its ok. You don’t have to keep up the charade. Treat all your feelings the same. Allow them to come and go without the judgement.

·         Letting other people know where you’re coming from can be helpful too, you don’t have to go into detail but a quick ‘heads up’ will give them the opportunity to be more accepting of your position and ease the pressure if you need to step out for five minutes.

·          It’s a two-way thing though; if they want to be the life and soul of the party, let them get on with it!

Courage: 

·         Face into the festive season with courage and the wisdom that you’ve got through it before and you’ll get through it again. Pull on that wisdom to think about what works well to get you through. 

·         You might need to dip into courage to share how you’re feeling with others for the previous point too…

·         Have the courage to say no or step out if it all gets too much. 

Space for self-care: 

·         Proactively block out down time and think about how this best fits into your schedule; do you need some time before an event or is recovery time more helpful for you? 

·         It doesn’t have to be big chunks of time. It could just be stepping out of a party for 5 minutes or doing a quick breathing or mindfulness exercise before you go in. 

·         Do regular body scans, noticing breathing into any areas of tension you find and practice letting it go with permission. Listen to your favourite guided meditations, take a walk, sit by the fire, give yourself a compassionate hug, ask for a hug, talk to yourself like you would do a close friend, take time to write yourself a compassionate letter and contact the things that you are grateful for in the moment.

You might like this short one https://self-compassion.org/wp-content/uploads/2015/12/self-compassion.break_.mp3 or click here for Catherine’s guided meditations.

Writing | Summer 2018 In Review | Catherine Moore

Blakeney, August 2018 - Moore & Moore Living

I often find that taking time to pause and reflect at the end of each season really helpful with the transition into the next. It helps to maintain clarity, wider context overview, gratitude and committed action to those all important yearly goals set out at the beginning of the year.

I have adapted the recommended format by James Clear (www.jamesclear.com). I would like to mention Jonathan Foust who inspired me to write using this format after reading his. Jonthan Foust and his wife Tara Brach are a huge inspiration to me in their aproach to life and work.

The review explores 3 questions and you can make it as detailed or simple as you like. I would recommend spending no more than 30mins on the whole thing but that’s just me. Find what way works best for you and how to like to reflect. So let’s jump in!

Question 1

What went well this summer?

Slowing Down and Living in the Countryside

Intentionally creating space to slow down and immersing myself in the garden, the woods and the expansive life that surrounds us living in a national trust park. Our house is everything we could have hoped for to experience as our first home together as a family (Jonathan, Basil and I). It’s deeply touching to have your own front and back door, stairs, the flexibility of having the back door open all day after many years of city life where space is limited. I am deeply grateful for this space that we get to cultivate and take care of. It’s been a challenge to slow down. The woods and forest are so healing for me to spend time in as I comfort my grief process and take care of myself generally.

Health and Wellbeing

This has been my main focus this summer. Anyone who has grieved before will know how deeply physical it is. I am jogging up to x3 per week and still working towards joining the park run crew here at Blickling on Saturdays. At present we watch from the breakfast table and take our coffee back to bed. Both are competing values and so I keep working at it and to get healthy generally. I commit to regular massages. My body is a temple and all that jazz.

More Health Tweaks

• Improved nutrition - eating more plant based foods.

• Alcohol - reducing alcohol to special social occasions. Not sure even then that the hangovers are worth it.

• Sleep - bed early and usually asleep by 10am. I prefer this so I can get up early. The early hours are a sacred space for me to either exercise or greet the day with sitting meditation.

• Reduced caffeine - I have been drinking decaf drinks since end of May. No energy spikes and I feel calmer.

• Simplifying - Creating diary space to breath more, grow and enjoy our own fruit and vegetables, marvel in the sunshine, not over stretching with commitments, letting go expectations to do lots of creative work based writing and connecting authentically and wholeheartedly. I also turned down facilitating training in London in Sept because I would over stretched myself. This was a tough but important decision.

• Wishing Others Well - Daily practice of offering silent wishes of good will and care and gratitude towards others. Being kind costs nothing but goes a long way. I have really made the effort to hold the gate open for riders as they pass the house (and have a lovely sniff of the horses :)) or a door in the car park for others. I have reached out and congratulated others on their work and developments. Doing this with an open heart and letting go of any unnecessary comparisons. We are all on our own path.

• Connect With The Homeless - I make time time each month to stop and have a chat with homeless people on the street, stroke their pets (I met a wonderful ferret) and give £10 in food or money.

• Savouring - My relationship with light, the orchestral sounds of dawn/dusk with the windows/doors open, cleaning our windows in prep for Autumn so to capture it in it’s fullest, daily check-in time with Jonathan/family and good cup of tea.

• Travel - Had a staycation and enjoyed exploring the North Norfolk coast.

• Serving - Nurturing the business as it evolves at a pace that feels healthy. Offering our practice space freely every fortnight to the Norwich OCD Peer Support (NOPS) Group (https://www.ocdaction.org.uk/support-group/norwich-ocd-peer-support-nops-group)

Other Creative Exploration

As Oprah says, “ We only get in life what we have the courage to ask for”. I love this because for me, it can be just about getting started with things especially when it comes to writing, photography, putting the business out there, taking risks to reach out or send that important email and also knowing when to say no and knowing it is not the right time. Here’s some of things I’ve done this summer.

• Writing - Started to write more openly and freely from my own voice for the business rather that feeling the need to hold back in case I sound a bit other there. I am embracing all of it in the service of myself and the business to grow authentically. Feedback has been really helpful.

• Pacing - totally taking the pressure peddle off the need to be anywhere other that where we are and at the same time to work towards a flexible timeline.

• Absorbing - Staying open to exploring new reading and podcasts.

• Photography - Finding our voice gradually as a business with image exploration. Also just playing with the camera.

• Connecting - Reaching out and connecting with others that I really admire in their field which has been really inspiring and helpful. People are really so helpful. Making new friends.

• Contributions & Training - I had the honour of working along side world class therapists as conference committee member as part of the Association for Contextual Behavioural Science (ACBS) World Conference held in Canada. I did the work remotely and contributed to the review of workshop submissions. To see my name amongst some people I hugely admire in the field is just amazing. Next year it is in Dublin (yes!) I went to the British Association of Behavioural & Cognitive Psychotherapies (BABCP) annual summer Conference in Glasgow and attended some really great workshops and symposia. I also signed Jonathan up to IDEO training which felt very exciting to encourage him to nurture his gifts.

Question 2

What’s Didn’t Go So Well?

• Holidays - I had sporadic days off here and there. I want to try and work at having block time off going forward.

• Marketing - I am still trying to talk less like a clinician when it comes to the lifestyle stream of the business. Sometimes I can talk using jargon which reduces my opportunity to connect with our wider growing community. I am really working on this as I get really helpful feedback along the way.

• Driving - Had planned to take my driving test this summer. I never made time for it. I will keep driving with Jonathan in the meantime. It doesn’t feel so important right now.

• Writing - That book I keep talking about and developing MML products, talks and events. I decided to hold back, take my time, let others help, enjoy and involve others in the process.

Questions 3

What Am I Working Towards?

• Embracing the life that is here fully with an open mind and heart no matter what

• Daily immersion in nature

• Daily immersion in the creative process

• Daily quality time with Jonathan and Basil

• Cultivating intimacy and authenticity in my relationships

• Continue to work towards balanced living

• Continue to solidify the business model

• Authentic Service

• Writing that book

• Creating talks and events

• Collaborating with others with similar values and interests

• Creating products

• Simplify, Simplify, Simplify

The Bottom Line

I am truly blessed. I will continue to greet each day with fresh eyes and an open heart and bring loving kindness, care, creativity and integrity to all I do. I hope if you are reading this far then this might be useful and helpful for you in your life. I would love to hear how you found reading this and what was most helpful about it. What would also be great is to hear how you got on with your own review if this has inspired you!

With Metta

Catherine

Moore & Moore Living | Interview Feature with Back to Front

It was such a pleasure to do our first feature interview with the awesome guys at Back to Front. You can click and read what we  talked about here http://backtofront.london/backchat/

What Kind Of LIFE Do You Want To Live?

Have you noticed all this recent language about "living my best life". Ella Mills has been posting on instagram about it. Hardy Caprio and One Acen have been singing about it on my spotify running playlist. Can we assume that living your best life is new language related to a powerful purposeful life that embraces change and our fallibility as human beings? I would like to think so.  

We know that living to our values and what is important to us helps us to feel healthier and happier and live longer. It helps us to sleep better, have a greater sense of belonging and connection, It also helps our ability to exercise our imagination and improve our problem solving skills which are critical for survival in this light speed paced world we live in. So, considering everything I have said so far, let's explore the window of imagination for ourselves.  

As we grow through life and gain more contact in awareness of our values we will revisit these question often so don't feel like you need to have it all figured out by the end of reading this. Try not to judge any of it as this is an exercise of imagination, self-care and purpose :) There are various ways I use values exploration with all my clients using worksheets and mission statements. However, we always start here with a chat about it together. 

What kind of life do you want to live?

Observe what words, images or phrases that automatically come to mind. Allow yourself the space to notice any themes, or descriptions that have a gently touch on your heart strings as you practice being curious. It may be that you start to evaluate what's in your life currently and then compare it with the things or experiences you would like to have. You may have a 5 year plan or avoid it like the plague. Either way, it is a nice way to exercise your ability to think about yourself in a meaningful way. 

What is important to us at different times in our lives can change. It depends on the space and phase of life you are in. For example, I used to love going to gigs often when I was in my late twenties/early thirties. It's not that it's not important to me now, it's just that it is less important at this current period in time. I used to socialise several nights a week when I lived in London and now I find myself longing for more time in nature, having less nights out and even the odd broody moment. 

You Can Live The LIFE You Want

The other really important part to this exercise is hearing and remembering you can live the life you want. It doesn't mean that it appears overnight but it does require various skills to help you get closer to it, maintain it and work at it. For example, this may not always involve making huge changes. It could that you want to learn appreciate the life you have and would like to have a deeper sense of contentment. In this case it would be looking at the areas where the blocks to contentment arise and targeting that directly and using mindful appreciation skills to be more present from a mind and heart space from moment to moment. 

Managing Change 

Break them down, start small, pace yourself, stay committed, be patient with the uncertainty and embrace the over all process journey itself.

Change can be overwhelming (pace yourself) and it can also be a source of so much growth and learning. Let others in on your plans, read about how other's done it, ask for advice and reach out where it could be helpful. 

WE ALL HAVE THINGS WE WOULD LIKE TO ACHIEVE IN OUR LIFETIME. HOWEVER, THE VALUE IN THE PROCESS IS ABOUT PRACTISING APPRECIATION AND BEING OK WITH WHERE WE ARE AT IN ANY GIVEN MOMENT. 

Mindfulness - What To Do If The Zafu Is Not For You

"Mindfulness is paying attention on purpose, moment on moment, without judgement."

Jon Kabat- Zinn

To me, mindfulness is a dedicated meeting space to fully see and connect whole heartedly with your core sense of being. A rhythmic opportunity for silence, stillness and solitude that has a ripple effect and quality which permeates your daily life, creating a space where life can truly unfold. It's like having a soul friend who doesn't judge you. An inner sanctuary amidst the frantic 'doing mode' of modern living. If formal mediation, breathing practice, or zafu sitting is not for you, then fear not, as I have some suggestions coming right up. But first... 

A Little Science Bit

Neurons that fire together, wire together. This is really important for anyone interested or practising mindfulness because growing scientific evidence shows many benefits from using mindfulness practices to directly work on the middle of the pre-frontal cortex (largely thinking part of the brain which is most developed as humans). The most typical psychological term for functions carried out by the prefrontal cortex area is executive function. Executive function basically relates to abilities to differentiate among conflicting thoughts, determine good and bad, better and best, same and different, future consequences of current activities, working toward a defined goal, prediction of outcomes, expectation based on actions, and social 'control' (the ability to suppress urges that, if not suppressed, could lead to socially unacceptable outcomes). Research outcomes show that mindfulness improves our wider perspective functioning, self-awareness and insight, empathy and emotional regulation and even morality. 

In theory, this all sounds amazing but finding the time and practice that suits you can be challenging. Formal breathing mediation is not everyone's cup of tea. Others may find that they are quite energetic and would prefer to be moving around more. For others, they may be fearful of unwanted thoughts, feelings or sensations that might arise when they sit with themselves and so it can at times be overwhelming to even consider. 

Here are some suggestions for anyone who is interested (or who has tried and struggled but is still interested) in finding what works for them. Let's get that executive functioning warmed up and see what works for you!

1) Keep An Open Mind - This is all about flexibility and being willing to explore other forms of practice. 

2) Make Time - Finding what form of practice works for you will only happen if you actually protect and value the time in doing so. No excuses here. That said, it is also your choice if you decide not to, so there is no judgement attached. Don't beat yourself up about it :) We are all different. 

3) Reflection - Reflect back on previous activities or tasks you engaged in that brought a sense of calm, attention in the moment, focus and presence. Also reflect on the things that didn't work for you and note down why that was. Was it a physical, emotional or psychological discomfort?

4) Try New Things - Finding your thing is so important. Give yourself permission to actively try new things for example, if it a moving form of practice for example yoga, or playing music, gardening, cooking or walking etc. Connection to yourself fully in the present moment for that time is really key. 

5) Be Curiously Bored - Being bored is not a bad thing. It is a sign that you are being with yourself. It may be that you are finding it hard to slow down because of stimulation. Allowing yourself restful periods can be helpful. Don't rush into doing something right away. Refine how you wish to use that time with yourself that is calming, soothing and connecting. 

If you would like to explore mindfulness reading and practice guidance further in more depth, including compassion and creativity, then check out our Connected Lifestyle Design eBook which you can download for free by signing up to the website newsletter. Feel free to send over any questions and comments on our Instagram grid. I look forward to chatting :) 

Catherine Moore

Founder, CBT Therapist, Moore & Moore Living

Denai Moore Interview on Compassion, Mental Health And Making The Music That She Wants | Moore & Moore Living

Summer blog feature - denai moore

Images - Denai Moore 

Denai Moore is one of the most exciting artists that sits within a flourishing British Music Community. Scrolling through the prestigious artists list of independent record label Because Music, you can totally see why she is there. It has been such a joy to watch her growth since her 'Gone' days back 2013. I first came across her when living in Hackney and I knew that she was one of those artists that will be in my playlist for years to come. Denai's compelling sounds have been played on Radio 1, 2, and 6Music. She also has a stunning debut EP, has appeared on Jools Holland, has collaboration with SBTRKT, and the list just goes on. Her recent album 'We Are In Bloom' is a refreshing relationship with the vulnerability of growing up, self-image and exploring who she is on a deeper level. 

We sat together in the sunshine in East London with our green genie juices. We talked openly and authentically, as fellow travellers on this earth, about the importance of establishing and maintaining assertive boundaries in the service self-compassion, mental wellbeing, creativity and meaningful living. At 24yrs old, Denai's self-awareness and willingness to talk about the difficult things in life through her music demonstrates deep courage. She has her feet firmly on the ground and her heart gently open. It is so evident in her commitment to supporting her friends, learning together and sharing as part of  larger music and vegan communities. Here's what she had to say on the day!

Catherine Moore How is life and what are you feeling grateful for today?

Denai Moore Excited to explore different parts of myself. The biggest thing for me in music, or with anything, [is] the ability to push myself in that field and explore new sounds or anything. Umm, I guess I am feeling grateful about the community of support I have, people I work with and the love I have around me and the people that kind of see me. It's great, I think the  internet is an amazing way to connect with people that wouldn't have been able to connect with in any other way.

Denai also runs a modern vegan JAMAICAN food pop-up - follow her @deestable for events  

CM For those who don't know you can you give me a bit of background of the key musical moments that have shaped where you are at today?

DM I'd say the massive pivotal thing for me was seeing Lauren Hill unplugged. It was the first time that I saw someone perform in the most human way possible. She cried on stage and forgot new lyrics and played a random new song that she wanted to play. I quite like it because performances before I had seen it were, not perfect, but so rehearsed and I love that side of performance too but seeing her like that made me realise I can be whoever I wanted to be in this format. 

CM You are very much shaping your own path in terms of being a genre free artist, you produce, you have a huge input to your visual and how you gig etc. What do you value about having your voice and taking risks?

DM The thing about being creating is self validation, and there is something really amazing to really look at yourself, and making music is the only place where I have really faced myself. I confront what I want to talk about and it is very insular so it's very therapeutic. Being genre free for me was about stepping out of the gaze of other people and really understanding the importance of making the music that I want to make, as opposed to attaching myself to different genres or feeling the pressure to create something that other people may want me to make or hear me as. This is something that I have always done. It's just my way of kind like to dismiss the boxes I tend to be put in. 

IMAGE  @13THSTREETPROMO

CM What drives you to be the best version of yourself?

DM A moment of me being excited and exploring something new. I think it's something that always keeps me inspired. It's always the pursuit of the ideas in your head, it's very child like. It's something you think of and go for it without the means of ambition, maybe, it's the feeling and expression that makes you feel good. So, I think that's what drives me to make music for sure. 

CM Connected Lifestyle Design is all about being mindfully present so we can live with greater compassion and life purpose on a deeper level. Embracing the universality of human suffering helps us to bring a compassionate resilience and courage to how we creatively take risks and embrace uncertainty of our individual values. We believe everyone has the right to learn how to cultivate and maintain their own connected lifestyle, rather than getting caught up in the 'hamster wheel' of society's values to do more and be more. What's your thoughts on that?

DM I think it is important that people continually self-assess - if that makes sense. I don't know, I think a lot of people are disconnected from the idea because people don't like confrontation but then what is confrontation when it is coming  from yourself? Can you easily pick out the parts of you that you don't like? Lots of that comes up when making music and you have an ongoing conversation with yourself about it, how it feels and about what's going on in your life for example,  mental health, or a mental block. People are really afraid to confront that in themselves and don't talk about it with friends or family and become so insular that they are too afraid to talk about it.  

CM Loving one's self is a ongoing process as we journey though life. What has helped you deal with your own internal critic and to learn how to bring a loving compassionate approach to your individual quirks and differences?

RM I think it is important to experience the entire human spectrum. There's a strong obsession with happiness that is unrealistic and just no human. It's about understanding that there are many things we are meant to experience and we shouldn't demonise certain parts of ourselves to conform with what is socially acceptable, I guess. I definitely don't have any guilt in cancelling things if I don't feel mentally here for sessions. I think that is so important to remember to protect the head space more that anything. 

So without further a do, here is the lady herself in action in Berlin as part of the COLORS SHOW. I hope you have enjoyed reading this and if you can spare a few seconds to give some comments as feedback that will bring joy to my heart. It also means that we can tailor any suggestions for our future blog features. Thank you in advance and feel free to have a wander around the website and explore other resources at your leisure. Catherine